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Meet Amy! 

 

We sat down with Amy to ask her why grief support coaching was important enough for her to develop a separate program just for people experiencing loss.

 

First, tell us how long have you been working as a Wellness Coach and what lead you to specializing in grief support? 

I've been working as a Wellness Coach for over 19 years now. My journey started in college with a passion for helping others and finding psychology, sociology, and just people in general to be a fascinating topic. Over time, I got married and had 2 children. I always love fitness, I played sports and still today, love a great strength training workout. Wellness coaching really fit my interest, lifestyle and skill set. However, I found that mental and emotional well-being was always something I would end up discussing with clients. Incorporating mental and emotional wellness and grief support became a natural topic in the majority of my conversations.  I felt it was an essential part of coaching and well-being. Over the years, I really wanted to enhance my skills in these areas.  I continue to research, participate in trainings, and received certifications that advanced my knowledge.  I found working with my clients on grief rewarding.  It is a very difficult time and I am glad I can be the support they need. 

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What made you interested in grief support coaching?

Supporting individuals through grief resonated with me.  It may be because of my life experience with the topic, but I also think it has to do with my approach as a coach.  I have never been a cookie cutter, stick to the evidence-based techniques kind of coach.  I see every experience and individual through a different lens.  We all need different things, we think differently, and we feel differently.  Grief is a such personal experience and I think I gravitated to that because I can see that needs are different for everyone.  My coaching approach focuses on the research, but adjusting for the individual, and that is crucial for functioning day to day and healing from grief.  Grief is a deeply personal experience, it is intimate, and I feel honored that my clients can open up to me about such a sensitive part of life. No one should have to go through it alone. The research shows grief has be witnessed, and I would also add that grief needs to be "seen" by the person grieving. I felt drawn to make that happen for people.

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I know you have experienced a lot of loss and grief in your life, tell us a bit about your story?

My grief experience started at a very young age, with my childhood friend. She was 9 years old when she died on the playground during recess from a undetected heart abnormalty.  Although, I witnessed her death, I do not really think I processed or mourn her loss until my 30's when I had a chance to visit her grave for the first time since her funeral.  Going to a friend's funeral at 9 years old is very strange.  I really don't remember how I acted, but as an adult looking back, I don't think I knew mentally or emotionally how to process it.  When I did get a chance to visit her grave, I was taken back by the enormous amount of emotion that came over me.  I knelt down, put my hand on her grave.  There is an etching of a cabbage patch kid doll on it, so I think I put my hand on that.  I sobbed.  I mean sobbed.  Like I couldn't believed how much I sobbed.  I cried for the little girl that had so much to live for, but I also cried for the little girl that had to experience that tragic moment.  The little girl that held her lifeless friend on a playground.  The little girl who had to be strong,  go home that day, and eventually head back to school and just move on.  That little girl had no idea that she was holding all of those emotions inside of her for over 20 years, until she sobbed that day as a 30 something year old woman. It ended up being a very cleansing moment for me. I left her grave with a sense of weight lifted. I got a chance to feel it all. I could breathe again.  Very close to her grave in the same cemetary, my friend from high school is buried.  At 17 years old, I lost him to a car accident.  It definately was a different experience.  I was able to grieve immediately.  I cried, I relied on friends and family, I visited his grave during the holidays, birthdays, anniversaries.  Still do.  However, during that time, I remember questioning it all.  He was so young, a wonderful friend.  He found so much joy in making others laugh.  He was the Class President.  Everyone loved him.  So the question of why was a huge factor for me.  Why would anyone so wonderful be taken from this Earth. That can be a difficult question to answer, but to say it bluntly, it's not a question to be answered.  Understanding why, does not change the pain of grief.  I remember feeling like, even though I had other friends that were grieving, many others that were more "worthy" of  greiving him, no one really knew my grief.  No one could understand how I was truly feeling.  No one knew my pain. A sense that my grief was different than everyone elses.  And you know what?  It was. It is.  That is what I mean when I say grief is so personal, individual, and intimate, it's very important to understand your loss is unique to you.  I have experienced my fair share of loss in other ways.  My parents divorcing when I was 5 years old.  My sister moving to live with my Dad when I was 10.  My own divorce.  More recently my significant other losing his mother, father, and brother within 6 years.  There are so many different types of loss in life.  Regardless, it leaves you feeling disonnected, and uncertain of how to move forward. But through this journey of grief, you can find healing in unexpected places. The losses I have endured taught me the importance of embracing emotions, acknowledging the pain, and allowing myself to heal at my own pace.  It's not easy, but all humans are equipped with what it takes to function and heal from loss.  We have been doing it since the beginning of time. 

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What was your vision when developing the ME Wellness Grief Support Program?

The ME Wellness Grief Support Program was born out of the need for a safe, compassionate space for individuals to process their grief.  I continuously hear from my clients when they have a loss, that they can't find support. Finding a counseling is challenging,  it is hard to get an appointment, or the availablity is months out, or it is very expensive.  Finding appropriate group support can be difficult as well.  Grief support groups can be very helpful, however,  I truly believe that grief is such an individual experience, it is important to have one-on-one time to be with your own grief without competing with others experiences.  Having that specific time for you alone to talk with someone and sit with your feelings and thoughts, is crutial to healing. My vision was to create a program that not only offers practical tools for healing but also addresses the emotional, mental, and spiritual individuality of grief. I wanted to ensure that people could receive personalized support, gain insight into their grieving process, and feel empowered to heal in their own time. Through ME Wellness, I aimed to create a supportive environment where people could truly be seen, heard, and understood.

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In closing, if you could give 1 piece of advice to someone experiencing grief, what would that be?

My advice would be to allow yourself to feel your grief fully, without judgment. Grief is not a process that can be rushed or controlled. It's okay to feel a wide range of emotions, from sadness to anger to even moments of peace and joy. Give yourself the grace to feel whatever comes up, and know that healing isn’t linear. Be kind to yourself during this journey—grief takes time, and it’s okay to take it one day at a time.

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If you have questions about our grief support program, contact me I am happy to help.