You Can’t Control the Holidays — But You Can Control How You Respond

(Part of the Not-So-Happy Holidays Series from ME Wellness Coaching)

We’ve all heard the phrase:“You can’t control what happens… but you can control how you react.”

It sounds great — but let’s be honest, it’s a lot easier said than done. Especially around the holidays, when stress, expectations, and family dynamics tend to crank things up a few notches.

Whether you’re a caregiver, grieving, or simply feeling stretched thin, managing holiday stress requires more than inspirational quotes. It requires practical tools.

As a coach, I have found that there are three things that make the biggest difference:

1. Setting Boundaries

Boundaries are not walls. They’re guidelines for what you can realistically handle — emotionally, mentally, and physically.

During the holidays, this might look like:

• Saying, “I can’t make it this year.”

• Leaving early instead of staying out of obligation.

• Deciding which traditions still serve you (and which don’t).

• Stepping out of a conversation that’s becoming too much.

Boundaries create breathing room — and everyone needs breathing room during the holidays.

2. Prioritizing Your Self-Care

If you’re supporting everyone else, you may forget this: You matter too.

Your needs count. Your rest counts. Your peace counts.

Self-care isn’t always a spa day. Sometimes it’s:

• Drinking water before the day gets away

• A 5-minute breathing break

• Turning off your phone

• Eating real meals

• Choosing a quiet evening instead of another event

Small, consistent care is what keeps you grounded.

3. Having a Strategy for Stressful Moments

Stress during the holidays isn’t optional — but your response can be.

Quick coping strategies can help you stay centered, even in chaotic moments.

Think about:

• Stepping outside for fresh air

• Putting your hand on your heart and taking three slow breaths

• Repeating: “I’m safe. I can handle this.”

• Planning an exit strategy before gatherings

• Having a support person you can text if you feel overwhelmed

• Focusing on what is going well, instead of what isn't

Having strategies can help you feel confident in dealing with your stress and that can shift the entire tone of your day.

The One Question That Wraps All of This Together

Every day during the holidays, pause and ask yourself:

“What do I need today?”

This simple question helps you:

✔ set boundaries

✔ honor your self-care

✔ choose strategies that support your mental health

And what you need may change from day to day — and that’s completely normal.

Some days you may need rest. Some days connection. Some days silence, fresh air, or simply permission to not be okay.

Asking this one question keeps you grounded and in control during a season that often feels overwhelming.

"What I Need" Challenge

If this resonates with you and you want more support during the holiday season, we’d love to have you join our free “What I Need” Challenge.

It’s simple, supportive, and designed to help you:

✨ reduce stress✨ stay grounded✨ meet your emotional needs✨ feel more in control during a very not-in-control time of year.

Sometimes the most powerful changes start with the smallest questions.

You deserve a season that feels manageable — maybe even meaningful — and we’re here to help you get there. To learn more and sign up click here.

If you have any questions, contact me at: coach@mewellnesscoaching.com 

And if you need support, or just want to talk to someone who understands the stress of the season, you can book a session with our emotional wellness coach using the following link 1stfor20💛